Kids have hectic schedules

So I've heard of parents going overboard with crazy amounts of lessons, but I hadn't ever put much thought into parents who work all hours. I've got a student who's mom's schedule keeps changing. Her most recent schedule has her working 2 week nights until 11pm.... this means that two nights/week he doesn't even see his mother until after he's gone to bed over at the babysitter's when she picks him up to take him home. I think this re-enforces the need for him to have consistency and emotional support at school. I know kids are resilient, but at some point we're asking too much of them.
PS- This is the same student that I've been having such a hard time with. I've got to find a way to consistently connect with him. I'm starting him on daily notes home, perhaps they will help.

Reflecting on My Choices

I definitely think that having this blog is a great way for me to be constantly self-reflecting. The same student I've been talking about came in upset again today. He just seems completely deflated. I try to make a point to connect with him when I can so that I can start to build up our relationship, but I just don't do it as much as I should. Regardless, he was pouting about something this afternoon. Instead of talking about it, he did lagged behind in line and didn't do his work. Today, instead of yelling at him and getting all mad. We stopped, and waited. I stayed perfectly calm only because right before I yelled at him I remembered what I'd written yesterday. I made a better choice. Later I got to talk to him. Since I hadn't yelled at him, he eventually cried because he was upset rather than going all stone-faced and angry. It turns out he was upset because he wasn't going to have three days of good behavior (for which he earns extra computer time from the principal). I quickly reminded him how he could earn it next week. When I re-instilled that hope he seemed to perk up pretty quickly.

I Can Be So Mean

Today, even after reflecting yesterday, I was so mean to that same student. I got very frustrated with him for bringing up seatwork that he hadn't even thought through. He didn't bother to read the directions or anything. He just put crap on the paper. As I was yelling at him I thought to myself, "wow, this sure isn't helping... you should stop now" Sure enough, he then had a terrible recess. He came back so mad he couldn't even sit down. He told me about how he was going to punch so and so in the face. I thought to myself, this is because he not only started out on a bad note at home, but then I made it worse. I still didn't help the situation though. I ended up yelling at him for choosing to threaten to hit someone instead of using his words. I told him he'd have to miss recess for the rest of the month since he couldn't be trusted to not punch so and so in the eye. He sat there, not saying anything for a long time. Just looking dead ahead. Finally, I fussed at him to get to work on his math even if he was mad. Much to my surprise, he did. After finishing his math he said, Mrs Clark, I'd like to talk to so and so now. He was totally calm. He even looked pleasant. All I could do was hug him. I told him how happy I was that he'd decided to use words instead of violence. We called the other boy back and talked it out. In the end, I made them hug, and they both laughed. The rest of his day went just fine. Today was an example of how sometimes kids make though inspite of what we do. If I had it to do over, I would have handled the crap he turned in a bit differently. I would have stayed much calmer and let him know that he wouldn't be able to work on computers until he'd read the directions and answered every question carefully. Then, if he'd still come back all mad from recess I think I would have, once again, alerted him to the consequences of his actions calmly. The talking it out and hugging part, well, I I'd still do that one the same.

Rough morning

I was recently touched by one of my students. He's one of my students who is in our school on transfer, so I don't have much history on his family. He frequently comes to school 45 minutes late. He's slightly behind in reading, and often lazy. I've been working to get him engaged in school. It's hard when he walks in 45 minutes late each day. I often fuss at him to get to school on time. My thinking has been that if I fuss at him it will become important for him to get here on time, and he'll in turn help it become important to him mother. I think it stressed him out instead. (In my defense, fussing in a gentle way often gets good results. For example, if a kid doesn't have a coat I don't go buy him one, Instead, I fuss at him for a few days, he gets a coat and feels proud.) Finally one day he got upset about how he'd been all ready for school. He'd gotten dressed and eaten breakfast, he'd even helped younger siblings get ready and then his mom couldn't find anything to wear. He was still 45 minutes late. He was so upset about it. Since then I've been easier on him when he comes in.

On top of that, he's just moved. I asked him how the new house was going. Knowing that he probably didn't, I asked him if he had his own room. He said no, he shares a room with his older brother. I asked if his 2 younger siblings also shared the room with him, he said that they have their own room, and that the place is a two bedroom. I asked if his mom shared her room with his younger siblings. He said no, they had their own room. He explained that his mom sleeps on the couch, and that it was her favorite spot.

I was touched. I don't think I'll be easy on him or anything, but I know his mom loves him and is doing the best she can. I can't ask more than that. I guess just having a bit more understanding about where he's coming from will help me connect to him.

Teachers Asked to Give up Pay!!!

Yesterday I got a call from a friend who used to teach with me, but now teaches in Oregon. Apparently her district's budget has taken hits all year, and now they're asking all staff to "donate" one day's pay. Beyond that, they're also canceling all the teacher inservice/work days to make up for snow days instead of keeping the kids later in the summer. I'm not even sure if this stuff is legal. I hope they have a good NEA rep. I'm worried that my district won't give a step and raise to the top of the schedule next year... perhaps I should have bigger worries.